I've had some great years in health, I've had some okay years in health, I've had some bad years in health, and I've had some scary-ass painful years in health. This past year was on of them. I wrote this to celebrate the one year anniversary of finding out I had a scary ass health condition after I thought I was through the gates.
So it was a year ago today. After everything. I am here.
Here is a journal page I wrote that night. I am so grateful to all Ellopals for the amazing support. It really has been a year. I am grateful.
-------------------------------------------------->
Today sucked. Just sucked. I am really, really in trouble. Today sucked.
Fucked up Friday.
I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do?
I feel so selfish. I want to focus on my sadness that Dr. Towler passed away.
All of my father figures have officially gone home.
But all I can do is think about what another doctor told me today.
Today sucked. That is all. As Scarlett said, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.”
--------
3 am. A clack and thud at the door.
I was actually relaxed and ready for a deep sleep. It was onset. It was deserved.
Someone was actually stupid enough to try to break in.
Adrenaline counteracted my exhaustion as I lunged out of bed.
Any other time I would be afraid.
My only thought as I grabbed onto make-shift guard rails, lugging my busted leg down the hallway-
*You better have every intent on killing me mother-fucker, because when I open this door, I have every intent on killing you. I am going to fuck you up so bad- your own crack whore of a mother won’t be able to identify you*
Which was a very mean thought. Because if his mother was a crack whore, she probably couldn’t identify him anyway. Also, why was I being sexist? Maybe it's a woman. Lot’s of women would want to kill me too. Probably a line outside.
I swung the door open. Ready to ‘meat’ whatever trouble was out there.
It was the trash pick up.
The waste can was what knocked on my door as the bag was removed, catching on the plastic lid.
I felt my cheeks flushed from anger swirl into an embarrassed blush.
I closed the door as quietly as I could. Hoping the guys didn’t see me. Their job is tough enough without being tubby-terrorized.
Went back to bed. Took a moment to write this down.
Side effect of anxiety-chem-trails was a clearer head and time to write something.
So I did.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Un-Manageable Office Manager
(This next tirade does NOT apply to my doctor and business owning ellopals- your teams and office-staff are awesome!)
Had to call this doctor's office I went to once for what the hell referral of who gives a damn bill I got that I had a quick question on- girl answers- I politely identify myself and ask for the billing department- girl identifies herself as the billing department- I tell her I am not sure why I am being billed outside of my co-pay- she retorts, "It's clearly stated in your bill." I am a little taken aback but I'm still cool, I don't know what its like to have 4 babies by 3 different fathers and not yet be 25, so I cut her some slack and I just politely try to ask again for a bill breakdown as to why these tests or whatever weren't covered in the initial appointment co-pay--- wow, just wow--- this chick went off like a pretty, peroxide troll on Fox News.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to piss me off? You really have to try, 4 stars for effort.
But I surprised myself that I didn't unleash the Tubby-Kraken as I've been known to do when such an event occurs. Instead, I take a breath and say, "Let me speak to the doctor. Let me talk to him now, or I will come down to your office and speak to him in person and neither one of us wants that." And to my surprise, the amateur-adult film star did just that. The doctor answered-I politely identified myself and why I wanted to speak to him regarding said outburst and before he could respond I say, "Look, Doc, I don't want to waste any more of your time or mine on this, I just want to tell you, I don't really remember you, so I can't expect you to remember me. I was in tumorland, I was already scared when I first got the news, then when put into a swirl of doctors, treatments, insurance paperwork, spiked fevers, projectile vomiting and financial concerns- I was terrified. And then I didn't tell any of my closest friends how truly afraid I was because I didn't want them to worry. I guess you are the first and only person I've really told. Hmmm. Anyway, I'm fine now, BUT you need to know, really hear me, Sir, when you hire a dumbass, your patients or potential patients will perceive you as such, and when you hire an asshole to answer your phones, you will be thought of as an asshole, Sir. And even though I don't really remember you, I don't think you are either, because I would have remembered if you were. So please Sir, don't hire a receptionist who gets irritated when she has to stop looking in a mirror trying to cover up her mouth herpes and re-glue her eye lashes to answer the phone...(deep breath) Thank you, Doctor for everything, all the best. I will send a check for this bill immediately. 'click'.
Phone rang twice after but I was too busy pacing but trying not to rupture sutures to cool out. Calm now. Gotta go put a doctor's bill in the mail and then have some fun on Yelp! Thank you for your time in reading this angst novella. Love, Ello
Had to call this doctor's office I went to once for what the hell referral of who gives a damn bill I got that I had a quick question on- girl answers- I politely identify myself and ask for the billing department- girl identifies herself as the billing department- I tell her I am not sure why I am being billed outside of my co-pay- she retorts, "It's clearly stated in your bill." I am a little taken aback but I'm still cool, I don't know what its like to have 4 babies by 3 different fathers and not yet be 25, so I cut her some slack and I just politely try to ask again for a bill breakdown as to why these tests or whatever weren't covered in the initial appointment co-pay--- wow, just wow--- this chick went off like a pretty, peroxide troll on Fox News.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to piss me off? You really have to try, 4 stars for effort.
But I surprised myself that I didn't unleash the Tubby-Kraken as I've been known to do when such an event occurs. Instead, I take a breath and say, "Let me speak to the doctor. Let me talk to him now, or I will come down to your office and speak to him in person and neither one of us wants that." And to my surprise, the amateur-adult film star did just that. The doctor answered-I politely identified myself and why I wanted to speak to him regarding said outburst and before he could respond I say, "Look, Doc, I don't want to waste any more of your time or mine on this, I just want to tell you, I don't really remember you, so I can't expect you to remember me. I was in tumorland, I was already scared when I first got the news, then when put into a swirl of doctors, treatments, insurance paperwork, spiked fevers, projectile vomiting and financial concerns- I was terrified. And then I didn't tell any of my closest friends how truly afraid I was because I didn't want them to worry. I guess you are the first and only person I've really told. Hmmm. Anyway, I'm fine now, BUT you need to know, really hear me, Sir, when you hire a dumbass, your patients or potential patients will perceive you as such, and when you hire an asshole to answer your phones, you will be thought of as an asshole, Sir. And even though I don't really remember you, I don't think you are either, because I would have remembered if you were. So please Sir, don't hire a receptionist who gets irritated when she has to stop looking in a mirror trying to cover up her mouth herpes and re-glue her eye lashes to answer the phone...(deep breath) Thank you, Doctor for everything, all the best. I will send a check for this bill immediately. 'click'.
Phone rang twice after but I was too busy pacing but trying not to rupture sutures to cool out. Calm now. Gotta go put a doctor's bill in the mail and then have some fun on Yelp! Thank you for your time in reading this angst novella. Love, Ello
Thursday, January 1, 2015
New- Ello Black Podcast
Hi Pals!
Happy 2015!
In anticipation of my new book release, I have a new podcast. I say new, I've never had one before- so I guess it's new, NEW.
Please check it out! You can go to podomatic or find it on Itunes. Please search Ello Black under the Itunes store search, or you can click here https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ellos-podcast/id619431364?mt=2
Looking forward to so many things! Hope you are all well!
Happy New Year to you and yours from Ello Black.
Happy 2015!
In anticipation of my new book release, I have a new podcast. I say new, I've never had one before- so I guess it's new, NEW.
Please check it out! You can go to podomatic or find it on Itunes. Please search Ello Black under the Itunes store search, or you can click here https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ellos-podcast/id619431364?mt=2
Looking forward to so many things! Hope you are all well!
Happy New Year to you and yours from Ello Black.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Hooray for the Goodreads Giveaway Winners
Hey there Ellopals,
Long time- no blog.
Goodreads.com recently had a Goodreads free copy of my book giveaway--- and the winners are---
Krista S., Daniel M., and Jolene F.!!
Congratulations!!! Your paperback copies of Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir are on their way to you. I really hope you enjoy them.
And everyone, get ready--- because my next art of words is on it's way to publishing bliss!
I will let you know when--- and it will be SOON!! Thanks for your support!!!! I'll post again--- before the next solstice.
Long time- no blog.
Goodreads.com recently had a Goodreads free copy of my book giveaway--- and the winners are---
Krista S., Daniel M., and Jolene F.!!
Congratulations!!! Your paperback copies of Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir are on their way to you. I really hope you enjoy them.
And everyone, get ready--- because my next art of words is on it's way to publishing bliss!
I will let you know when--- and it will be SOON!! Thanks for your support!!!! I'll post again--- before the next solstice.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Over 4 Thousand Views of Hooray for Me Book Trailer Four!!
Hi there Hooraypals!
The 4th and probably final book trailer for Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir has had over 4,700 views in less than one month!!
I feel so blessed and in awe of the reception!
I write 'probably final' because my 2nd book is in the first of many final edits and should be on cyberspace shelves this early summer. I am very woot about that too!
Click the link below and check it out Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir trailer #4!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8WrF0lm9YQ
Thank you from Ello
The 4th and probably final book trailer for Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir has had over 4,700 views in less than one month!!
I feel so blessed and in awe of the reception!
I write 'probably final' because my 2nd book is in the first of many final edits and should be on cyberspace shelves this early summer. I am very woot about that too!
Click the link below and check it out Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir trailer #4!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8WrF0lm9YQ
Thank you from Ello
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Hooray for Me--- New Book Trailer!!!
This will probably be the LAST of the Hooray Trailers as my new book is set to hit the cyber-shelves sometime in the next few weeks!
But it's not too late to download or actually order and read off of something called a book made of real paper with the title of Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir.
Thank you so much!!
Ello Black
Monday, March 11, 2013
Hooray for ME reaches #3 on Kindles Top Memoir Downloads
Hooray for a Great Week!
Good day to you all-
I am thrilled to report that on Wednesday March 6th, Hooray for Me: a Foggy Memoir in correlation with a Goodreads/Kindle Promotion sold a whole bunch of copies and got up to #3 on Amazon's Top Memoirs List!
The thing that cracked me up was during the promotional Hooray for Me reached NUMBER #5 on the Kindle Self Help/Inspirational List... WOW! I beat out a book that's title consisted of how to be happy in 20 days and another about how to change your life through yoga and dancing. Which is great- go go! And more power to you---
Um... see.... about that--- My book as much as I do hope it does inspire, it is not an inspirational memoir. At least that is not what I intended it to be. I wrote it because- I wanted to. And I felt I did have some laughs with some knocks along the way. I would never even begin to know how to make someone else's life better when I have no clue what the hell I am doing with mine.
I do like to stay positive. I do see the glass as half full, even though I am aware that most of the time the glass is half FOOL.
Anyway, that was pretty awesome! And it did make me happy in a matter of 20 hours, not days.
We'll talk soon!
Again, good day to you all from Ello
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