Un-Manageable Office Manager

(This next tirade does NOT apply to my doctor and business owning ellopals- your teams and office-staff are awesome!)

Had to call this doctor's office I went to once for what the hell referral of who gives a damn bill I got that I had a quick question on- girl answers- I politely identify myself and ask for the billing department- girl identifies herself as the billing department- I tell her I am not sure why I am being billed outside of my co-pay- she retorts, "It's clearly stated in your bill." I am a little taken aback but I'm still cool, I don't know what its like to have 4 babies by 3 different fathers and not yet be 25, so I cut her some slack and I just politely try to ask again for a bill breakdown as to why these tests or whatever weren't covered in the initial appointment co-pay--- wow, just wow--- this chick went off like a pretty, peroxide troll on Fox News. 

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to piss me off? You really have to try, 4 stars for effort. 

But I surprised myself that I didn't unleash the Tubby-Kraken as I've been known to do when such an event occurs. Instead, I take a breath and say, "Let me speak to the doctor. Let me talk to him now, or I will come down to your office and speak to him in person and neither one of us wants that." And to my surprise, the amateur-adult film star did just that. The doctor answered-I politely identified myself and why I wanted to speak to him regarding said outburst and before he could respond I say, "Look, Doc, I don't want to waste any more of your time or mine on this, I just want to tell you, I don't really remember you, so I can't expect you to remember me. I was in tumorland, I was already scared when I first got the news, then when put into a swirl of doctors, treatments, insurance paperwork, spiked fevers, projectile vomiting and financial concerns- I was terrified. And then I didn't tell any of my closest friends how truly afraid I was because I didn't want them to worry. I guess you are the first and only person I've really told. Hmmm. Anyway, I'm fine now, BUT you need to know, really hear me, Sir, when you hire a dumbass, your patients or potential patients will perceive you as such, and when you hire an asshole to answer your phones, you will be thought of as an asshole, Sir. And even though I don't really remember you, I don't think you are either, because I would have remembered if you were. So please Sir, don't hire a receptionist who gets irritated when she has to stop looking in a mirror trying to cover up her mouth herpes and re-glue her eye lashes to answer the phone...(deep breath) Thank you, Doctor for everything, all the best. I will send a check for this bill immediately. 'click'.

Phone rang twice after but I was too busy pacing but trying not to rupture sutures to cool out. Calm now. Gotta go put a doctor's bill in the mail and then have some fun on Yelp! Thank you for your time in reading this angst novella. Love, Ello